A Daddy's Letter to his Angel

I have a friend who lost his daughter during the typhoon Pepeng two years ago.. the same year when he and his wife had their third child, who happened to be my god daughter in her baptism.. the same year when i gave birth to my daughter too..


We, their friends and families felt their pain.. I was here in Japan last year and was able to spend some months with my "tay" (that's what we call him, he is everyone's Itay) .. i felt his pain.. there were a lot of times that he would tell me he misses his daughter and that had he been there during the tragedy, he would have done something and things might have ended up differently.. and i would tell him that no one would have wanted it to happen that way.. no one knew.. no one saw it coming.. i also remember telling him to keep writing letters to his daughter, to write down his feelings and express his agony of losing his daughter in order to somehow ease the pain.. and i always remind him to always cherish his other children and my kumare.. coz life is indeed so short.. we will never know when the Creator would take it back from us..


And now that i was able to read his letter, it made me proud that somehow, he is in a better level in coping up with their loss.. i felt the pain while reading this, it is really heart breaking and such a tearjerker.. coz somehow i still believe that no parent is suppose to bury their child.. but it's God's will.. 


To my friends, tay and marse, we will always be praying for your strength, for your peace and acceptance for whatever pain this tragedy had caused you.. be it physical or emotional.. i know your love for one another and your love for all your children will keep you both going however tough things may go..


To their angel up high, we pray for your peace as well... pray for your dad, your mom and your sibs too.. be happy and whisper to the Heavenly that your family will be given the strength to move on from this, and make them feel assured that you are well taken care of our Creator, wherever you may be.. 


Now here's the letter which I would like to share with you.. to learn from it.. and learn to appreciate our loved ones while they are still with us...it was written some months back, but since yesterday marked their second year of loss, i read it and wanted to share it with you..




"My Dearest Yana,


Do you have facebook in heaven? Maybe God plays Angelville that’s why you’re no longer with Dad. God harvested you because you have done so much good and matured a lot earlier. I do miss you a lot, maybe you can read this and then tell me that you are alright, or better yet, drop me a line will you? Invite me as your neighbor, anyway I know I am not ready to be with you yet. I still have Mommy and your sisters to take care of. It won’t be an easy job without you, but somehow I know I will manage. Because you are there watching and guiding me to do good…


How is it that God needs you more than I?……


I guess I will never know.


I do cry a lot and I try to hide it, but you can see me right? You’ve made dad very sad. But I know it’s not your intention. I feel that you miss me too, you miss your mommy, ate Yami and Yael. There are reasons why you’re not here anymore. I just hope I have the strength and courage to wait for those answers. You are so brave, I want to be brave like you, but to be brave, it means I have to let go…


Daddy wants to be brave, so I am letting go and accept that I won’t see you in this lifetime again.


But it’s not easy…but I have to. I have to believe that everything is alright.


I have to believe that we will be alright. I just want to believe that life is still good after you’ve left us and the pain of missing you will make daddy and mommy strong.


I want to have faith in everything…


So Daddy can let go…


Please do take care of yourself, I was not there when you needed me most and I am so sorry. I am still in so much pain from that thought. I wish could have done something. If only daddy went home early. I am really sorry. I just wanted the best for you, I know you understand that.


I will miss the times that you’ve been very patient with me, understanding my faults and seeing through my insecurities. Loving you and to be loved by you is one of the best things that ever happened to dad and losing you is my greatest hurt…
I love you Yana, so much. You are now daddy’s angel. Be with me always.


Love,
Your Dad
xxx


P.S.
To God,
Please do take care of my baby Yana. She’s a very special kid. She too will take care of you just as she took care of me. I am quite jealous of you now, her embraces and kisses will be yours to keep but only mine to remember and long for. She likes listening to stories, please tell her how great a child she is to me. That she is her mommy’s sunshine, ate Yami’s pride and Yael’s miracle. Tell her that we love her so dearly. Tell her things I could not. Show her the love that I wasn’t able to give. Tell her I miss her…"

xoxo

Back in Japan! Back to retail therapy!

I have been in a long hybernation...
It's nice to be back into blogging...
even better coz I am back here in Japan...

Tomorrow, I will be officially 1 month here... and so far, I forgot to bring with me the much needed "Self Control" and I have so much given into the LONGCHAMP madness...

As of today, aside from the two LP I bought for myself as got here...

I have gotten myself a Short Handled Pink Darshan..
on SALE of course!
However, I am not into using it yet.. coz weather here is not very appropriate for a canvass bag with short handle.. Either it's raining, and it might get soaked.. or it's really hot (32 deg Celsius) and I am sweating all over.. :P perhaps during the autumn by the mid or end of September, I may be able to bring it out of the box..

but despite all these excuses..

i just ordered a Short Handled Steel Metallic on SALE again.. (which is due for delivery to my end in the next days)...

and right now, I just won in the bidding of this nice purplish short handled bag... Preloved, but still look nice to me..and it was on a bargain price.. :D

and im currently bidding on this... at first I thought it was just a simple Planettes, but as i zoomed it, i noticed the puppy's foot mark on it.. i have not seen it else where.. so i am hoping real hard to get it!

(I also hope, language barrier wont get in the way in settling this bidding thing, as it is my first time!)

Keep your fingers crossed for me! :D

Pinoy's PNOY

i have been on a short hiatus as i have not gone out, except for the office and the groceries, so there's nothing interesting to blog about.. until a few moments ago... i was browsing my favorite forum, when i came across a topic entitled "DISRESPECT TO PRESIDENT"... i was intrigued by the title.. i was thinking if it's inviting disrespect or it's just declaring an incident, so i had to find out... and sadly it was both... they cited an incident and started bashing his every action and every decision that he makes... from his smirk, to his eating of just hotdogs and burgers during his US visit... it was filled with negative posts from different members of that forum... those were their opinions but i did not post a thing there, as they are obviously blinded by their negativities, even if i was so itching to type...

"Let him who is without sin throw the first stone.."
(i mean who among us has not violated a simple road sign.. or who has always fallen in line or has never cut off a line to at least show they're disciplined individuals..)

i remember them agreeing that GMA's way better than PNOY..
Seriously?!
i know i am not in the position to question such a statement,
as i have not spent a day in the Philippines with PNOY as the president...
i did not vote for him either...
i even tried to persuade my parents not to vote for him,
but to no avail of course...
it was their right to choose who they think will make a difference in the life of Juan Dela Cruz...

but seriously?!

with all the obvious corruptions during her time,
and her obvious greed for power???

i just had to sigh and breathe heavily...

 i just dont understand why some pinoys are so busy fishing for faults and flaws from the new administration...
(OH make that every administration! as they do not ran out of complaints!)
i know there will be flaws...corruptions (but hoping it would be minimized at least)...
perhaps some decisions will be made against our personal understanding and beliefs...
but what good do we get from bashing and citing all the negativities...
i mean, he's only been there for what?! 120? 130 days?!
the Philippines has been in the bottom for yearsssssssssss...
and looking for sudden enormous changes is just like asking for a miracle...
his term is 6 years...

it will be six LONG years if you keep bringing about the negativities..

six long years of disappointment if that's how you would want to look at it..


but I CHOOSE NOT TO...


for me, i would like to look at it as a 6-year term of trying and hoping...
trying to save the Philippines from corruptions... from greedy politicians...
trying to make a change...
trying to make a clearer and better future for my daughter...

PNOY may not be the most ideal president nor the best among the presidentiables last May...
but he was the one chosen by the majority...
let us respect that, and at least try to trust him and let him lead us...

if only each and every Filipino is united towards our betterment...
is exercising his every right accordingly without abuse...
is practicing discipline from the littlest of things...
is giving rooms for improvement and changes...
and is giving the due respect to things and people...

Maybe then we can hope for a better Philippines...

but for as long as we continue with our semi-corrupted and proud ways,

then let's not be surprised if we come to the worst...

No matter how excellent the president that we vote for is,

nothing's gonna change...

unless we start it amongst ourselves...

PEACE!!!

Let’s Make a Change… NO to Plastics!

This is (for sure) not your first time to read a blog entry 

expressing the same thing which I am blogging about now… 

But who cares?! 

Actually, I care… 

With the sudden changes in our climate, 

or the so-called global warming, 

I feel like we need to do something for Mother Earth… 

It may not be something so drastic, 

but we can always start on small things… 

I know that you know where im leading… 

Yes, we can simply start by decreasing our use of plastic bags… 

Each one of us is a shopper, 

whether a thrifty shopper or a frugal shopper… 

We always need to buy something, 

be it something we want or something we need… 

For years, we’ve been into using plastic bags when we buy, 

and we already know the implications to our atmosphere 

in terms of disposing these plastic bags… 

That’s why I really admire those who thought of using the recyclable bags… 

and these recyclable bags are not only made of the usual “kacha” as we may call it… 

currently, they have gone very fashionable… 

I like this photo from Ecosax

even celebrities are spotted using these, 

trying to make a change for mother Earth… 

I hope everyone will learn to adapt the same thing…

I myself had embraced this idea… 

I have been using recyclable bags for months now.. 

and I am proud of it… 

I have the foldable ones inside my regular bags, 

so in case I need to buy something, I am always ready… 

I appreciate also those establishments who practice the same thing… 

I believe in SM Supermarket, every Wednesday, 

they have a no plastic bag policy… 

The New SM Eco-bags

Here in Japan, some stores will require you to pay 

for every plastic bag you use… 

which is a brilliant idea, 

not only do they earn a few coins from this, 

but they somehow sway their customers to bring their own bags… 

If I were a government official, 

I would have passed a law like that… 

harharhar!

I mean it’s not something 

that’s very hard to do for mother Earth right?! 

You can just simply buy the cheapest of these recyclable bags, 

and you’ll be making a change! 

Big things come from small things… 

If 10 of us use these recyclable bags, 

we are already decreasing the use of the plastic bags, 

by how many??? 

By 10?? 

By 20?? 

Or even 50?? 

Imagine how many bags we take home every time we go the grocery… 

Of course, you’ll tell me it wont be wise to buy so many recyclable bags… 

but believe me,  you wont just have one.. 

after getting one, you will want to influence 

every one around you to do the same thing… 

how can you say no to these fashionable ones???

By Ecosax

By M&S

Even Elmo and friends are anti-plastic bags! ♥♥♥

My haul from Daiso with my fave Cherry Ecobag..

When Unfolded

My fave Black Ecobag with Cherry Prints...

These are unused ones.. Pasalubong from my boss after his trip in France..
They are bigger than the usual ecobags here...

Of course, I know they cost a bit much… 

that’s why, I have been thinking about making some 

and offer them at cheaper price… 

equally fashionable but cheaper…  

I hope I could convince my Mum about it… 

I really, really want to pull this project… 

so I am keeping my fingers crossed… 

Through this, I hope I could influence more people 

to refrain from using plastic bags, 

and help the Earth through my little way…

Let’s make a change!

Longchamp Afficionados

i know right?!

my blog has been containing pretty much the same things...

it's either Elmo or Longchamp!

not that i planned, but those are really the things that interest me lately...

but this time, it's a different Longchamp...

i have been google-ing and searching for nice buys...

of course, when your budget is limited, you would want it

to spend on something worth it,

and something you really really like...

but i came across one site selling these Longchamps...

Limited Edition..

with Limited Edition prints actually..

and they are absolutely CHEAP finds for a Longchamp!

hahahahahahahahaha!!!

i had to get a few...

it's either i wear them as necklace...

or as bag accessories...

aren't they cute?!

♥♥♥ LONGCHAMP OVERLOAD ♥♥♥

**guffaws**

source:

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001540184454

Birthday Preps...

i have been looking forward to my daughter's first birthday...

it's every parents' dream to give their babies the best they could...

in our case, hubby and i were not on the same page 

when it comes to preparing for our baby's first birthday... 

he's the type of "just" celebrate it... 

and i am the make-the-most-of-what-we-could-give-our-kid type...

(of course within our means...)

we don't have money to spend for a glam or royal kind of birthday...

but i want it to be special...and within our budget!

at first we were arguing as to where to hold the party...

he wanted McDonalds, i wanted Jollibee!!! hahaha!

but we ended up not having it at neither of them, 

since none would allow us to have our ELMO themed birthday party!

and we can't afford not having one,

because the cake and souvenirs have been ordered and paid...

so we will be just having it at my Mama & Papa's house in Tarlac...

at least in our house, there will be no limitations as to what we want to set up for the party...

it won't be an easy job for me and my family for sure,

escpecially that i will be coming home just a week before the birthday...

i have delegated the cooking and budgeting of food to my Mama...

so only the decors and set-up will be handled by me and my sister at least...

well so far here are the things i have settled...

1. an Elmo 3D Cake ordered to May Santos of KitchenKrafts.. 

(the photo is by icingsnsprinkles... the one i'm getting from KK is almost like this.. but it has some lollies)

2. mini cuppies from Frupcakes, which will be topped with Elmo Face toppers given by my friend Mitch...

 

3. mini-stools as souvenirs from Grace Anonuevo of  http://www.handicraftsatbp.multiply.com

(big bird isn't ours.. )

4. Pen-holders as souvenirs for the Godparents from Grace also...

5. Photo will be by my officemates Sir Joel and Randy hopefully...

6. Invitations are by... eherrrmmm... myself... :)

for now, i am still searching for game prizes...

perhaps some tumblers and towels...

As for the souvenirs for the not-so-young anymore, 

i want to have this Elmo plush toys which are available in Divisoria... 

i will ask my sister to make some bibs for these Elmos with my daughter's name.. 

still waiting for my "Marses" to find the time to hoard these stuff for me... 

including some pinata... 

i want the pull string type... 

i remember on one of my friend's children's bday party, 

what they did was hit Elmo with a bat to let out the candies inside... 

which i cant allow to have on my daughter's bday... 

it's too violent! hahaha! 

she might find it traumatic! hahaha!

also, i am still in search of some Elmo themed disposable plates and cups... 

or plastic ones so we could reuse them...

but for the set-up, i am still searching on the net as to what kind would be best for our place...

so far, i plan to get these banderitas to include in the decors...

lots and lots of balloons...

this is so far the most difficult task i have ever had...

planning my daughter's first birthday...

delegating and coordinating every detail, while i am 1846 miles away...

(i sounded geek with that approximate distance huh?! but thanks to wiki..)

so far that's it...

41 days to go before her birthday celebration...

and

34 days to go and il be back to Manila! 

yahoo!!!

Finally gave in... :)

i have been going on and off with my decision 

whether to give in or not with my Longchamp desire... 

was so hesitant to give in as it might lead to endless longing for more... 

(the same as what happened to my Havaianas addiction before.) 

and of course, i want my very first purchase to be something i really really want... 

i really so much wanted it to be the Galleries La Fayette,

but because of its limited availability and its unusually high price,

i wasn't able to score one "YET"...

i still keep my hopes high... that's how much i like it..

despite my Uncle's info that it ranges from 14-17K Php in Dubai...

of course, i don't expect him to get me one... 

(kutos ang aabutin ko! hahaha!)

but because of endless surfing on the net,

i saw an online japanese site which was on a weekend sale...

and they have this one on sale...

i did a lot of thinking regarding purchasing one...

i was just staring at my cart, whether i was gonna submit the order or not...

i didn't decide that night...

i thought to myself, that if it's still available in the morning,

then we're meant to be... :)

unfortunately, come morning, i checked the link, 

only to find out that they ran out of stocks already...

so i just brushed off again the idea of getting one...

when i got back home from office,

i opened my email, and received an email in japanese...

couldn't understand it, so i had to seek the help of Babel...

then it translated... that the online shop would like to confirm

if i will be pushing through with my order, as they held one piece for me...

truly, we were meant to be, i guess...

i was supposed to receive my LC bag yesterday...

but, as usual i had trouble with the Takkyubin service,

coz they don't speak English...

so this morning i decided to just leave the money with our caretaker...

and when i got home tonight...

i finally met my very first ever Longchamp 

LM Metallic handbag in Bronze

::photo with and without flash::

"in actual, it isn't as shiny as others said.. 

which i like a lot.."

::the flap & the logo::

 ::the back of the flap & the care card::

at first sight, i thought i made the wrong choice in the size, as it looks small...

but when i transferred the contents of my Betseyville bag into it...

i still have a room for my book, my lunchpack, and so much more...

this bag is amazing! i cant believe it could contain this much!

it's gonna be my fave for sure...

and did i mention that it only cost me JPY 7900.00???

that's less than Php 4000.00

JACKPOT!!!

now, i found this cheap Longchamp bag...

i haven't seen anyone with this... 

but i find it really cute...

what do you think???

Give in??? or Stay away???

('to na nga ba sinasabi ko.. hirap umayaw pag nasimulan na!)